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Five Years In...

  • Jan. 1st, 2010 at 8:52 AM
As decades go, the '00s pretty much were a disaster for us as a nation (although we've had a year of digging out, now), and I snarked through, in my own haphazard, occasionally splenetic way, exactly half of it. Last year, I thought about ending the whole blogging experiment, and decided that I would miss you all far too much. So instead, the thing's expanded--I'm on Facebook, where I've met friends new and old, and I've got a second blog up, where I often cross-post. The great thing about all this is relationships which I neglected have a chance to revive, and I get to hear from people all across the political spectrum, forming new friendships. Thank you all for that.

As to 2010? What might the midterms bring??



Er, that is actually disturbingly close to the GOP platform as it presently stands.

Happy New Year, all!

Dec. 31st, 2009

  • 8:05 PM
Ten years ago, today, I was in the French Alps, bleeding profusely from a ragged gash down the bridge of my nose because I tried to break up a drunken slappy-fight between two friends by pulling them apart, and as they twisted out of my grip, I lost my footing on the icy street and fell flat on my face.

Tonight, I've got a cold.

Meh.

Intent. Purpose. Resolve.

  • Dec. 31st, 2009 at 11:11 AM
In mere hours we'll be ringing in a New Year, so now's the time to reflect on 2009. New Year resolutions may be cliché and contrived but will never become passé, so here goes.

... I told myself to try to slow down in 2009 (yeah right) and spend more time with friends. Surprisingly, I did slow down a bit in terms of doing some more for myself--I did quite a bit of crafting and had a little more "me time," which was nice. This is a work in progress that I will continue into 2010 and beyond. I did also manage to spend more time with people I love. This will definitely continue. As the kids get older, it gets easier. Slowly. Thankfully.

... What happened to books? Reading used to be such a huge part of my life. I don't know what's sadder--that I read only one book in 2009 or the fact that it was New Moon. I need to read more, much more. And I want to start with this. HEY. IT COULD HAPPEN.

... The first half of 2009 I did well health- and workout-wise. But as the second half of the year got super crazy hectic, I fell back into unmindful habits and as a result put on nearly 10 pounds, landing me back into double-digit size clothing. Temporarily. I'll be celebrating THE BIG ONE in April and I want to enter the new decade fit. So I'm going on a health spree. Tomorrow. Monday. Next week.

... Oh yeah, no procrastinating.

... In 2010 I'd like to dedicate more of my time to honing my cooking skills. I'm already a pretty decent cook but the majority of my cooking has been (a) baking, which I started doing when I was about 12 so it's something I'm extremely comfortable with; and (b) Japanese fare, which I also learned from my mom when I was young. But I don't have a lot of experience with other cuisines, so I'd like to branch out. I'd just like to cook more in general.

... In 2010 I resolve to go through Kieran's closet and sell off all my old club clothes. They've been sitting in there for oh, 5-6 years with little to no use, so there's no point in keeping it other than a few memorable pieces. I already spent the last couple of days photographing & cataloging some of it, so I've made a dent. This will be a big project and will likely last a good part of the year.

... Drink more water.

... Try not to be too sad about leaving Christmas behind. Only 365 more days to go. :)

And there we go. :)

A Battle of Wills

  • Dec. 31st, 2009 at 9:51 AM
So, the kitten (I'm going to have to get used to calling her a cat) has a new hobby: Fucking with the blinds. Pulling the little vinyl slats apart and sticking her head (or entire torso) through to look outside.

I keep my blinds down. I'm private, and I like a "cave" atmosphere. So hearing the metallic rattle of the blinds and seeing the aftermath of bent and twisted slats is annoying, to say the least. Especially when she starts the game at 5:00 in the morning, using the window by my bed.

Now I have to step up and be the Alpha. It doesn't work the same for cats as it does for dogs. Cats are way more defiant in the face of authority. And this cat is a true teenager.

So this involves the consistent busting of her activities, me pointing and saying "DOWN!" a lot, and her swatting at my hand and going right back to it. Except that I'm slowly making progress: When I stomp over to where she is, she crouches in submission. The tail is whipping from side-to-side, which means that she wants to rumble, but she's learning that it's not a good idea. I'm reinforcing the submission reaction by grabbing her scruff when she's particularly defiant. It's how mothers drag their kittens from place to place, and even a grown cat will often go limp by instinct once that scruff is pinched.

Also, I've taken to locking her out of any room with an accessible window. In fact, she's in a time-out as I type.

I haven't spanked her (yet), which I consider to be proof that my meds are working.

But I swear, that little girl's gonna start leaving the blinds the fuck alone.

Dec. 31st, 2009

  • 5:17 AM
My kitten is so punk rock. She just puked at 4am and is now mowing down the front part of her back legs.

Today, I threw away months of struggle, reducing all the discussion and knob twisting and discovery into 80 pretty tracks. It was a little visit through the memory lane of a life that ended up here.

As I bounced down the ruff mix, and contemplated the new year's impending rush, the weight of a decade struck me. It's arbitrary, I know. But it roughly corresponds with my move to LA. It often feels like life speeds by, but in reflection, a decade is immense in scope. I look forward to the next one.

The seconds tick by, relentless. And I hope I remember how to be petulant. I hope I enter the new year asking awkward questions. I hope the next decade leaves with the same warm, wonderful embrace.

I like this place. This little forum for honoring words. I stumbled across it in 2003. And it's been a rather lovely connecting thread throughout this epoch. Conversations important, whether actual or silently absorbed. I like it, the gush of words and the frankness afforded by prancing fingers.

I remember a brief flashing of jealousy once, by a woman I was living with, over me finding a budding writer's story fascinating. "You want to fuck her" Not exactly.

Words distinctly turn me on, but I was more intrigued by the story. The shared and the different.

The woman who caused the flash, wrote something yesterday that was a summing up of a decade. Now 7 novels, a cross country move, a cat constant and a boyfriend now husband. And I'd been following along. Another got married, and I know the build up and find it a rather lovely outcome, the actual evening.

A decade whispers like wind through trees, and it all strikes me as beautiful.

Some are a wry smile and a clapping.

Some an urgent impulse to actually kiss with a feverish softness and lip urgent ache.

10 years ago - who were you?

I like that tomorrow is not just the cusp of a new year, but the cusp of a decade. My sweetest kiss, my confident strut, my accomplishment I own, my most fascinating knowledge - all this decade. All formed by the past decade.

I so look forward to the surprise that awaits. Carved out and equally witnessed.

Dec. 30th, 2009

  • 9:28 PM
i'm really upset about rowland s howard. but mostly because nobody else is.

Diva to Weather: Step Off, Bitch

  • Dec. 30th, 2009 at 8:42 PM
I know it's supposed to be decently above freezing and just rainy by tomorrow evening, but just in case, I feel the need to say:

Weather, I'm effin' watching you, asshole. Fuck up one more set of my plans and I will fucking END you.

Clearly cock punching is not enough of a threat. Figures that weather would be a CBT fetishist.

irresolute

  • Dec. 30th, 2009 at 2:37 PM
so yeah, new years. as with every year, i'm ready to kick this one to the curb and get on with the next.

i'm not a fan of resolutions, but i do like the idea of starting/reinforcing some good habits, and this time of year is as good as any to get that all up and done. clear the smog from the noggin and all that junk, you know. so here are some things i'd like for me:

  • get some different, better mental floss. quitting derby was a big step in soothing my soul, but there is still some damage, you know. i gotta work that shit out.

  • regular massage and/or acupuncture. i don't care if i have to eat peanut butter sandwiches for lunch every day, i will figure out a way to afford this on a regular basis again.

  • clean out the office/computer room/computer. there's a lot of junk that's hanging out simply because i haven't thrown it away yet. it has got to go. quickly and with no remorse.

  • write more. letters, postcards, all that junk. i need to keep in closer contact with people. this whole internetty thing is nice and all, but it creates a false sense of availability and camaraderie. i want the real thing, dammit.



and of course, some wishes for my friends:
  • have some safe sex. seriously, people, get fuckin'. but do so safely. it's not less sexy, it's not an encumbrance, and really, it should be mandatory by now.

  • and while on that subject, be healthy in other ways, too. eat your 5 fruits and veggies, every day. move around. learn stuff. read books. don't stagnate.

  • get those tests done. have a grownup look at that weird mole, check your liver for rotgut, poke at those lumps, get your teeth cleaned, so whatever preventive maintenance you feel necessary - including playing the turn-your-head-and-cough game. i want you to hang out with me for a good long time.

  • prioritize. figure out how to take that class/vacation/sabbatical. i want to live vicariously through you, you see. or maybe hop along for the ride.

  • write more. to me. see above.




that is all.
what are you gonna do?

St Thomas a Becket

  • Dec. 29th, 2009 at 8:10 PM
Today, December 29, is the anniversary of the murder of Thomas a Becket, perhaps at the orders of King Henry II, certainly to the great relief of that most protean and impetuous of Kings. As I wrote two years ago (crikey!):
Imagine my surprise when, years later, I found out that one of the most pressing grounds for the conflict between Becket and Henrywas the treatment of "criminous clergy" who committed offenses against the laity; in the face of years of inaction by the ecclesiastical authorities, Henry wanted the right to try such clerics in the secular courts.

There was much more to it than that, of course. The real Thomas Becket may have been headstrong and arrogant, but he was also seeking to preserve the institution of the Church as it was entrusted to him, and to resist a King who was re-making the political institutions of his day and centralizing power in the King's person.

As to Becket's murder, the King's role in it has always been sharply disputed--the authenticity and meaning of the infamous quotation, "will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?" have been debated for centuries. (An excellent account is contained in W.L. Warren's biography, Henry II).


Regardless of the merits of their dispute, there's no denying that the story of Becket has given rise to much great art. My personal favorite is the admittedly ahistorical play by Jean Anouilh, brilliantly filmed with Richard Burton as Becket, and Peter O'Toole as Henry:



Great though the movie is, it does considerably less than justice to either Henry (who fought a civil war to a standstill to become King) and Becket himself.

And, of course, T.S. Eliot's Murder in the Cathedral is a great favorite of mine since Fordham College (thanks, Dr. Antush!), and one which combined great insight into human nature and into theology. For me, the lines that hit home most are the scenes between Becket and his Tempters. So, the Fourth Tempter offers him the power of martyrdom:
You hold the keys of heaven and hell.
Power to bind and loose : bind, Thomas, bind,
King and bishop under your heel.
King, emperor, bishop, baron, king:
Becket sees this trap, and responds:
Now is my way clear, now is the meaning plain:
Temptation shall not come in this kind again.
The last temptation is the greatest treason:
To do the right deed for the wrong reason.

Christmas Day pictorial

  • Dec. 29th, 2009 at 4:12 PM
Someone once observed that a picture is worth a thousand words. Here are 16,000 words to behold.

Thoughtfully cut to spare your sanity and my reputation. )

sorry, Die Hard

  • Dec. 29th, 2009 at 1:19 PM
but my new favorite x-mess movie is Soldier.

today i have a lot of cleaning to do, but first... pancakes! but not just any pancakes, these have wild rice and apples and oatmeal and all kinds of extra deliciousnesses in 'em.

i rounded up 2 bags of clothes to donate. i could probably find more, but i need to keep a few things on hand to wear to work. rebuilding my wardrobe is one of those things i dread, so i wait until the absolute last possible minute, that minutes wherein all the blacks are grey, all the elbows are saggy, all the beltloops are torn. which will be friday of this week. aka payday. then it's off to h&m for some cheap, shitty disposable clothes.

Nice

  • Dec. 29th, 2009 at 10:04 AM
I parked in an awkward place, at the corner in a tiny street. A guy getting into his van saw me as I was walking out of it and sitting at the cafe terrace. Two minutes later I saw the van pausing in front of me: "Ma'am, there's a free spot now if you want to take it – so the car doesn't stay on the corner." How nice!

Dec. 27th, 2009

  • 8:32 PM
gareth thomas is my new hero.

i want a pearson's nut roll.

i've been reading my friendsfriends page lately because none of y'all have been posting. i'm resorting to desperate measures, people! desperate! and it's all hip domestics and ontd and boring stuff of no substance -- i'm really missing the connections -- so i'm adding a few peeps, hope y'all don't mind.

anyway, hi.

Dec. 27th, 2009

  • 6:37 AM
The thing I like about cooking is it's insight into culture. Across the globe, the cultivated ingredients are rather small, and while foodies may distinguish between a burrito and a wrap, the spirit is the same. But where foodies get it right is in being archeologists intent on tracking the particular traditions and circumstance.

Cooking is distilled wisdom. A tasty reduction and a launching point for innovation and artistry. It's grounding and a sense of home. It's a window into a different approach to the world and an education into the lives of people who actually make cheese, wine, and all the other tasty morsels that hit our plate, fresh and hot.

It is it's own religion, but only because we've forgotten the essential knowledge, giving it over to the priesthood. And then the marketers stepped in. Something with fromaggio is far sexier than a grilled cheese.

But those traditions and inspirations are important. The pretensions are boring, but the craftsmanship and the lore are fascinating. And like any art, opinions vary widely. And my mom's spaghetti is the quintessential.

From that echoes a million voices, inviting us into their culled wisdom, their ideas of feasting, the local color of their seasons and passions and techniques. It's a wild smorgasbord of not just tastes exploding across the tongue, but insight into the common through the exotic eyes of another. Their history and their humanity.

I ate some cold, leftover ham at a christmas party. After the hit of salt and cold and ham, a subtle smokiness crept in. It was truly beautiful. And I'm pretty sure that that exact experience on my tongue took a while to perfect. It transformed a "shit, I should eat something" moment into something that gave me pause. I'll remember that transition. It was sublime.

Which makes me want to know how they did that.

And you know there's a story behind it...

Dec. 26th, 2009

  • 9:13 PM
the hangover is really not that funny. sorry to break it to ya, everybody.

Awesome e-book

  • Dec. 26th, 2009 at 2:57 PM
Check out this free PDF download of What Matters Now, an e-book collaboration spearheaded by Seth Godin (of whom I am a big fan) that features contributions from a dizzying array of brilliant people.

I recommend setting a little time aside to read it. Make some tea, put your feet up, shut out distractions. It's thoughtful, inspirational, thought-provoking, visionary. It's a quick read, but you'll slow down because page after page will get your brain churning with ideas and passions and daydreams that suddenly seem possible. It's a beautiful snapshot of a path leading to an exciting future, paved by the like minds of uncommon geniuses who all see what COULD be, more clearly than most of us can see what is.

And it's fucking free. GODS I love the digital revolution.

If you like it, pass it on. Set someone else's head on fire too.

you do not go on a manhunt

  • Dec. 26th, 2009 at 9:46 AM
anybody need an lj holiday coupon? here are the deets, in lj's own words: "Share the love with our $10 holiday coupons! If you're a Paid or Permanent user, you can send up to 10 Basic or Plus users a $10 coupon to upgrade to a one year paid account.

Recipients can upgrade for $9.95 (instead of $19.95) for one year by enrolling in our automatic payment plan or make a manual payment of $15 (instead of $25). Please note that these coupons are not transferable and cannot be used to renew existing paid accounts. Recipients must specifically decline the Holiday coupon in order for it to be credited back to the sender."


i have 10 of these puppies, plus a million billion google wave invites. so yeah, lemme know if you need/want 'em. i can share. i like sharing. sharing, it's a rule now.

also, this cleopatra find makes me kinda happy. finding the bits that make the stories make more sense is a very good thing indeed. i also kind of have a soft spot for the epic love story that ends in tears and death.

i guess i'm just a softie that way.

there should really be a latte delivery service. because i really want one right now and i don't feel like getting dressed and walking all of three blocks to get my own.

perhaps i'll start on my seaf entry. i have a week to make it, but then i also have a lot of painting to do and a lot of goofing off. how does one prioritize?







also, i'm in a really shitty mood.

Merry Christmas!

  • Dec. 26th, 2009 at 11:13 AM

Our Christmas cheer was thwarted to some extent by a vicious stomach bug making the rounds through our family. But it seems to have run its course, thankfully, and so I now have a spare moment to post this year's Christmas card. I hope your Christmas was filled with joy!


chrismtas-card


It has been snowing all day, a thick and magical snow, and this morning, after a glorious snowball fight wherein everyone was appropriately pummelled, an idea came to me. I’d been fretting about what to send out for Christmas cards, since I’d not found anything inspiring in my shopping, and also since I was running out of time. Today had to be the day for Christmas cards! But the snow was falling and calling to us!


That’s when the idea came. We could build a snowman! I could photograph it and it would be our Christmas card. So build we did. Thanks to our good friend Lee we were able to roll huge snowballs to make up our snowman’s body. Lee also fashioned the pipe our fine snow fellow is sporting. It was tremendous fun, and everyone participated. Together we made the perfect creation to spread our joy for the holiday season.


We hope our Berrytown Snowman brings you joy, and that your holidays are blessed with love.

--the Berry’s

best. chosen family. ever.

  • Dec. 25th, 2009 at 10:36 PM
spent the day in the best possible way - slept late, saw a movie, ate popcorn, drank drinks, had snacks, played games, hung out with the best of friends.

i win at christmas.

however, i did not have chinese food, so i kinda feel like i'm missing out on something. and in fact i am. i need some veggie potstickers or else i will most assuredly die.



oh - and i need girl advice. i want to try some violet perfumes, but don't know where to begin. i'm not a perfume person, you see, more of an essential oil gal. but there's something about violet perfumes; the bad ones all smell like old dresser drawers, but the good ones are heaven. i want to find some good ones.