I like doing nothing in my home. But it's an odd feeling. I made peace with my inner protestant by spending a couple hours a day wiping away the accumulated grime. Truth be told, I've no idea what to do with myself.

Granted, I just tore into a melty brisket off the grill, took my kitten on a tour of the hallway circuit and planted an oregano plant (finally). I know what to do and I love these moments. And living 6 months out of a suitcase, it's nice to flop about lazy in one's own bed.

( Polaroids are magic... )

there are times when i really and truly wish i was less of an underachiever. there's a teeny guidance councilor that lives in the back of my head that says things like "if you applied yourself, and actually tried hard at any one of the things that you do, you could actually do it well." and it's true, i know that. when i actually give a shit and fuss about doing things all right and proper, they come out coated with a healthy layer of awesome. but i don't want to give any one thing that much of myself because i'm a pretty finite element; there's not that much of me to go around and i'm pretty inherently lazy and selfish. so i ignore my guidance counselor, just like i did back in high school when she tried to encourage me to go into social work "because i'm so good with people." also, she always mispronounced my name, i think my internal one does as well. they're both bitches.

so i guess i'll just stick to making the best damn mix discs in the land and being passable above average at everything else.

i keep getting ideas, though. and if i just knew a bit more about l.e.d.wiring and soldering, i could make a pretty cool thing - i dare not talk about it quite yet because i think i might try to get one of the dorkbot dorks to help me out with it... stay tuned. it'll be cool. super secret agent spy cool!

right now, i'm adulterating piston's wedding photos instead of going to the bout, and it's a very good and happy thing. my fingers rock the ctrl+ in photoshop and shit gets done, yo. also, i'm caffeinated. gotta say - piston's wedding was the best wedding ever, so much so that editing the photos doesn't even suck. however, i should really stop writing and start getting her stuff burned to a disc; we're meeting up in less than an hour and i should maybe have a finished product to give to her.

Renee and I set out early this morning (nine o'clock is early, I don't care what you say) for Asheville to purchase the big tent we found on Craigslist. Renee was especially excited because today was finally the day that she would get the stuffed puppy I promised her last week for being brave and going back into the ocean after being clobbered by a wave. We shared a nice bagel breakfast and ran a few errands--brandy for tinctures, bat guano for my houseplants & seedlings, and a fuel filter for my car--before meeting up with the woman with the tent.

With that brandy I started a batch of catmint tincture, which I've found to be a lovely, gentle sleep aid. I also gathered in my basket another harvest of hyssop flowers and a radiant batch of golden and orange calendula flowers. My fingers were sticky with their resin--that's where the medicine is for this delightful herb. Then I bundled them up in groups of seven and hung them to dry over my bed:

It looks very likely that I'll be working with one or two others to put together a Ganesh puja on Ganesh Chathurthi, which falls on Sunday 8/23 this year. It will probably be midafternoon, no later than early evening, and in this general area (I think I know where we'll hold it, but am still confirming availability).

It'll be no fee, but donations welcome, and possibly a light potluck as part of the ceremony.

Those of you who attended my last Ganesh puja, it will be fairly similar. It's ok to be mostly a spectator, but there will be opportunities for people to be more involved in the ceremony if they wish.

Ping me if you're interested, here or off-journal; I'll be assembling an invite list in the next week or so. It's going to be a loose invite, meaning that it's not exactly public but it's ok to bring people or whatever and I don't need a definite headcount, just a general idea of numbers.

Om Gum Ganapatiye Namaha!

So, upon my return to LA, I received an invitation to take a survey from the hotel. I generally do these -- praise where praise is due, etc. I mentioned my displeasure at the lack of smoking rooms. It's something that tends to drive me away from most properties. Having to go downstairs and outside at 3:00 in the morning if I've just woken up from a stressful dream... not fun. Especially -- in the case of this last hotel -- when there's still plenty of foot traffic, and they all want to bum my smokes or change.

Of course, companies can do what they want with their properties. I just think that, if you're in the business of hospitality, you should be hospitable enough to set aside a bank of rooms for those travelers of the filthy-smoker variety (i.e.; 45 million Americans, plenty of Canadians, Mexicans, and citizens of pretty much every other country in the world).

I received a reply, today. Among other things, it informed me that Washington State law prohibits smoking in hotels.

WTF?

In the afternoon light we crowded down to the river. The turk’s cap lilies are blooming now, and damselflies dressed in velvet black and iridescent blue flit among the tall drooping orange flowers. McKinley remarks how much he loves that damselfly blue every time he sees one. We walked on to The Point, where Rock Creek flows into the Toe River. It’s a unique place with rocks piled high by the creek as it flows into the river, making a sort of island. And just downstream of this the river is smooth and wide and perfect for water play.

We swam a little, and then hunted for crawdads and juvenile Northern Water Snakes. McKinley found a snake, and we gathered around and watched it weave among the nooks and crannies of the rocks, coming up for air here and there until it found a secluded spot from which to breathe and hide from us.

The snakes are really gorgeous, with russet brown bands over a creamy gray, and the way that they move so gently through the water and among the rocks is quite captivating. McKinley and I discussed the possibility of actually trying to catch this snake, but the chance never came. And anyway, there were also crawdads to catch, and a jar to put them in, and so, once our snake had found its hiding spot, we began seeking out good crawdad spots, turning over rocks and peering into the gloss of water. We ended up catching seven, I think, and then transported them to our aquaponics tank.

The aquaponics tank is J’s experiment, though it has us all fascinated. It’s a series of four tanks, which are actually blue barrels cut in half. The highest tank is a water barrel cut horizontally, and it drains water into two barrels cut lengthwise. In these two barrels, which are more like troughs, there’s gravel, and plants. The water pours through the gravel and nourishes the plants before it drains to the bottom tank, which is filled with some goldfish, and now, seven crawdads. The fish poo nourishes the plants, the plants filter the water. There’s a pump in the fish tank that pumps the water up to the highest tank, and once its filled, it gushes out to the plants, where it then trickles back down again to the fishes. It’s quite the fun experiment.

When we left the river and headed back up our little lane/driveway McKinley nearly jumped out of his skin. “Snake! Snake!” he yelped, part with excitement, part with adrenaline rush. I ran up to him and found a four foot snake looped about in our driveway. I discovered shortly after this encounter that it was an adult Northern Water Snake, but at the time I wasn’t sure what it was, just that it wasn’t poisonous. McKinley was not convinced of this and kept saying it was a copperhead. Meanwhile the snake was clearly nervous with all these humans crowding around it. Then my dog Oscar, oblivious to what was underfoot, came and stood right next to it, one of his back paws actually half-stepping on it. With this he spun around, gave a good sniff, and became the towel I had wrapped around me and spread it out. Amazingly it slid right onto the towel, which I then folded over. Of course, the excitement amongst McKInley, Renee, myself, and the dog was over-the-top, and we were all making exclamations in loud enough of religion in my childhood, and that was just Southern Catholic religion, nothing involving arsenic and rattlers. And anyway I wasn’t keen on discovering if I had enough God in me to keep any snake from biting me, poisonous or not. I suppose I just wanted to see if I could catch it, and I did, and then it slid right out, within inches of my feet, and I let out a high-pitched scream, which is my biological response to a rush of adrenaline and thereby completely uncontrollable. I also scream for mice, which don’t scare me at all, and roaches, which I find reprehensible.

So the snake escaped its encounter with the Berry’s, and we survived our encounter with a large and docile water snake. The day wound down in its slow summer way, with a fine dinner of beans and garden vegetables over rice, topped guacamole, and the reading of another chapter of “The Horse and his Boy.”

I just realized I started writing junk here in July of 2000. My user # is perilously low… I’d like to think I’ve grown and evolved and matured and all that rot, but looking back over old entries, it seems that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

a random sprinkling of consistency:


12 November 2000 @ 12:12 am
remind me to elaborate about the super-quantum-waitress-collider theory.


17 October 2001 @ 12:56 pm
there's a page in my checkbook register that says "cheap trick is the type-O blood of the music world." and its true...


18 October 2001 @ 12:19 am
i was wondering, while i was watching "training day" with meggo, how much of my life is real and how much is based on hopes and wishful thinking? am i really certain that the things i want are things i want or are they just a part of an elaborate illusion i'm making for myself?
i'm too sleepy to really reason this out, but it all seemed so clear while ethan hawke was getting his head bashed in on a rooftop - all my questions seemed real and valid and worth further examination and now they've flown off somewhere.
i'll try again in the morning.


02 September 2002 @ 08:22 pm
i think, that given the ways and means, i'd be the world's best bored drunk housewife.


16 March 2003 @ 03:29 pm
i just sprayed the toes of my shoes with chalkboard spraypaint.
because i could.


22 November 2004 @ 03:28 pm
i make all these little deals with myself - like if i get this one really suck thing accomplished, then i can do this fun thing. or if i get one hard thing done, i can then get myself a nice little treat.

only i don't hold myself to these internal agreements and i feel bad not only for not holding up my end of my own bargain but also for cheating on myself. it's like i mentally sue myself for breach of contract..


25 January 2005 @ 08:47 am
i don't remember if i mentioned this or not, but for the past couple of days, i've been living with the assumed knowledge that one of my neighbors was dead and that her pets were feasting off her carcas, you know, like in clyde bruckman's final repose.


22 June 2006 @ 10:25 am
so, let's say 5 marxists and 7 poststructuralists were having a knock-down drag-out fistfight in a dark alley... who'd win? who'd run? who'd call the cops?

oh by the way, it's raining and there are some weapons like metal trashcan lids and loose bricks available. and maybe a length of chain. definitely a bag of lettuce juice. and antonio gramsci is a werewolf.

i need to know. it's vitally important!


19 April 2007 @ 06:07 pm
[i just chugged a pbr tallboy at work]


25 October 2008 @ 07:30 pm
summer songs 2, side 2, track 3
fuck! i forgot that david garza was playing tonight. here! in town! i love david garza, and even struck up a fleeting and strange little friendship with him when i first moved here, and it kinda kills me that i'll not be there. but on the other hand, i really do not like the venue where he's playing. and also, i'm in my pajamas already.







yeah, 9 years is kind of a long time.

Today is a "breather" day. I haven't had one of these in at least a couple of weeks. I can't believe how busy I've been, both workwise and personally.

I need to apologize to all my Live Journal friends. While I've still been briefly skimming the entries of my closer friends, I've generally been neglecting everyone so I don't really know what's going on with anyone these days.

I can't believe it's already the middle of July. This weekend's supposed to be a hot one. And we're planning to clean out the garage. My newest (hopeful) project is to move everything out of our backyard playhouse, clean it out, paint it (pink?) and scour Craigslist for some kiddie furniture--maybe a kitchen set or something--to put in there. The kids are old enough to start enjoying that thing now.

Speaking of kids, Killian is out-of-control growing. At her birthday in March, she was wearing a size 5-6 shoe. In just four months she's practically transcended sizes. A couple of nights ago we went to Payless and got her feet measured. SIZE 8. Holy clown shoes Batman! How on earth did she grow 2-3 sizes in almost as many months? Kieran's now measuring a size 12 and he'll be exiting the toddler sizes altogether very soon. We've already started shopping for him in the boys' department.

Killian had another appointment with the pediatrician a couple of days ago too. 29.5 pounds and 36.5 inches. My grandmother thinks I'm starving the kids, LOL. She's old enough now that her doctor appointments will be moving to every 4 months from now on. Thank goodness.

Oh, and she got out of bed at 10:00 last night to tell us she had to go pee! *Proud*

Another fun little development has been the unintentional creation of a story. Two nights ago Kieran was in bed and asked me to read him a story. The lights were already out so I said no. He then asked me to tell him one instead. Tired of the same old kid stories, I started telling him about a spider named Spencer and the fly he decided not to eat and subsequently became friends with. I made up the story as I went along and he was really into it. After I finished, he asked me to tell it again. I told him to go to bed.

Last night he asked me to tell him the story of the spider and the fly again. So I did, and added a little more to it. I then told him that the fly needed a name, what should we call her? He thought about it for a moment and said, "how about Maelie?" (That's my spelling; he pronounced it like may-lee). I asked him if he knew anyone named Maelie. He said no. Interesting choice of name.

So after he went to sleep, I went downstairs and started typing out Spencer and Maelie's story. It's coming out cute. Pictures would really enhance the story, so if I end up really liking it, I may have to ask a certain artistic friend to illustrate it. And I'm already imagining future adventures with the two friends.

Soooo... that's the update. There's another busy weekend in the works and I can't believe next weekend is Comic-Con. I'm taking Thurs/Fri off but I'm not sure exactly what we'll be doing. Attending Con on Thursday for sure, but crowd-wise, I don't know beyond that. I guess we'll see.

Random facts...

Tonight, I returned home and my house was hickory scented. That was a nice linger.

And a hamburger cooked indirect at 225 with woodsmoke for an hour and a half is a truly beautiful thing.

Last night, my kitten queen launched a preemptive hiss attack against the new female that has made our nightly walks complicated. I suspect they will become fast friends, but I was a little proud that she hissed back. She gathered her strength and owned the space she's paced for 10 years. It's always odd to see her get her primal on. But It was nice to she her defend her territory after being bewildered for a few days.

I've declared the next two weeks days off. It's been nice the reclaiming of home. I did nothing for two days. Today I was about to be overwhelmed with the choas of lazy so I began to chip away at entropy. I slaughtered dust and stuffed the dishes into hot water and soap and a dishwasher. I reclaimed space, decimated a roll of paper towels and thrilled at being home. Much more needs to be done, but I will get to it. And I'm liking the spontaneous kitten butt kiss, and the delicious in pruning back herbs.

I downloaded a demo of dramatica pro. I need to tell a story. I've no idea what shape it will take, but it seems the next logical step. I'm tired of being passive. I feel the shudder of invention and intrigue. In a way that stretches me.

Maybe I'm jealous of the ferocity of a hiss, out of character....

Back from vacation, with le puter de monsiuer still on the sick list.  So, a little gift--Milady's (Faye Dunaway's) ultimate seduction of the Puritan Felton--note how Dunaway says, at  7:30, "help me" three times--and it means something different each time:


And then, later, Lester and Dumas, get a few last laughs as they set the stage for tragedy...

There are scenes
There are blues
There are boots
There are shoes
There are Turks
There are fools
They're in lockers
They're in schools
They're in you.
Then there was you.

Y'know, one good thing about working from home is having a kitten park herself on my arm while I'm writing e-mails.

Not the most efficient thing in the world, mind you, but it's really fucking cute.

This was our fourth year to vacation with my family at Edisto Beach in South Carolina. To think that Renee was three when we first came!

This year we discovered Botany Bay, which includes two old plantation sites and two miles of undeveloped beach. The beach was fantastic. I want to go back in September and do some painting.  I still don't have a good camera, so these will have to do.
( two more... )</div>

you know that book i'm always yapping about, Rodeo in Joliet? well my friend Glenn will be on KIRO 97.3 radio in seattle tonight (8pm PST aka NOW). ironically, the show is called Too Beautiful To Live. he's gonna be talking about his stupid book. which, of course, is not available for purchase right now.

you can listen to it here.
if you're not listening to it now right now right now, you can find it online later, just click the TBTL with Luke Burbank podcast link.

pete got a killer tattoo and i recognized the script and made his day by saying "i love a man in cuneiform." now i must listen to gang of 4our all day without stop.

also - lookit! my first ever record cover. check it. the music is swimmingly swell, too. i wouldn't lend an image to anything less than faboo.

umm, aside from a petty complaint about my keyboard being all sticky, that's all for now.

Well hello, Internet. I thought I'd better post something before people start thinking I went off and died somewhere. Man, but has my life been crazy busy. So here's an update. With pictures, even!

WORK:
For me, good. Busy as usual, nothing to report.

For Chris, mostly bad. He's had a pretty hellish time as of late. Between working insane hours and dealing with some pretty serious BS, it's physically, mentally and emotionally pushed him underwater over the last month and the resulting stress has exacted a heavy emotional toll on the family. The truth is, if a major part of your life takes a hit, well, it's going to affect the rest of your life too. It's not my place to elaborate, but I'll just say that the work stuff is largely political in nature and has caused huge amounts of stress. Luckily, the worst of it appears to have settled and hopefully the rest of it will smooth over in time.

( MORE THIS WAY )

i've been on a kind of vacation... i took wednesday-friday offa work. wednesday there was a wedding near bremerton, thursday and friday i just kinda stayed home and did nothing, yesterday i went to a friend's house and we picked green walnuts for nocino and then went to a bout, and today i think i'm getting a cold.

there were mass rad plans for the thursday and friday, but i was having the period of doom of epic proportions and just couldn't manage to do much more than watch dresden files on hulu.



i think i will be thankfuller than most when menopause rolls around. i read some books and watched some movies and although it was really nice to not go in to work, it wasn't really feeling very vacationny, it was just.. eh. i still need an adventure.

so - at the bout i was at last night, the score had been run up by over 100 points and although the winning team was putting in less experienced jammers, their blockers were practicing the same old strategies of trapping and splitting the pack (i gotta say, it was weird seeing 3.1 still in effect, it's so out-of-mind for me now) and it was pretty damn awful. there's absolutely no reason for a point spread like that. i'm tempted to post this wikipedia entry about running up the score to places where the coaches will see. because i'm a passive aggressive jerk.


Reasons for running up the score

Some of the reasons why a team might run up the score:

• To demonstrate domination of one's opponents, and intimidate them and future opponents.
  
• To embarrass an opponent or to make a point.
  
• To demonstrate the skill of individuals who need to impress sponsors, talent scouts, etc.
  
• To increase the team's prestige.
  
• To gain an advantage where play statistics (such as points scored or point differential) are kept and used for professional advancement or as part of a tiebreaking system.
  
• To ensure a win (in which case, if the scoring is genuinely used to improve the team's chance of winning, it is not unsportsmanlike. The subjective part comes from whether or not said scoring is necessary or if the game was already decided).
  
• To improve rankings and thus a better placement in a championship picture, such as with the AP Poll and Coaches' Poll in college football—the computer ratings used in the BCS ranking formula do not measure margin of victory.
  
• Just for the sake of scoring more points.
  
• To respond to a crowd that wants a game to be a blowout or to reach a certain score.

Consequences of running up the score

The most common negative consequences of running up the score are injuries to a game's starting players, lack of experience for the non-starting players on the team, and opposing teams remembering a shellacking and plotting revenge in a future meeting.

Running up the score is considered poor sportsmanship by many fans, players, and coaches, albeit with differences in opinion on how big an insult it is. Allegations of poor sportsmanship are often brought up soon after a team scores multiple times near the end of a one-sided match.

however, the bout for the title was faboo!  completely neck-in-neck and white knuckled the whole time.  i was rooting for both teams, and each really played hard and deserved it.  that's the way it oughta be done. 

also, i really appreciate many things zipcar, but i hate the $50 price tag it adds to an evening, especially when it's one of those drive to the place, park for a few hours, drive home kind of deals.



in other news, i had a really vivid dream last night about insincere friendships and school and stuff. the nifty parts were that i made a 3-piece presentation screen for a chat about 50's teevee morals out of needlepoint and photographs, all hand-done. the shitty part was that my best friend in the dream was using our friendship/flirty budding, young romance as the basis of his multi-media presentation on how to fake a friendship. in the end, he wasn't in class for his presentation, but stood outside and watched my reaction and then said that although it was a study in applied insincerity, he really did have friendly feelings and that's why he couldn't bear to be in the room when his presentation was aired. umm, yeah.  stoopit subconscious.

there was more to it, but not all the subtleties can really fit into an lj entry, and i know nobody really wants to read about my dreams anyway, so there.  i will say, though, that there was intrigue involving 2 missing guided by voices posters and a screenprinter.  and there were performance artists.